3 years

In 3 weeks it will be 3 years since I have been able to kiss and hold my firstborn child.  Words can't express the deep emotions embedded within me for this sweet son of mine.  I pray everyday he can feel my love for him.  I pray I can feel him close.  3 years has changed me and I do feel like I have learned and grown in my grief.  I have been able to donate some of the extra medical supplies I had of his that took me a while to part with. 

 

My computer mouse pad is a picture of Kaden.  Karter loves to play with it and tonight brought it to me while I was sitting in the family room and said what sounded like "Brother" to Rusty and I. 

 

People have asked what I want to have (because I am expecting our third child) and I really don't care either way.  I would love for Karter to have a little brother.  It makes me sad that he is the little brother to Kaden and he will never get to meet him here in this life.  I'll never forget that he was blessed by Rusty to have a special bond with him....He sees his picture here and kisses him.  I like to think he is getting to play with his brother in his dreams.  But it sure would be fun to have a girl just because we have not had one.  BUT I know with all my heart I will LOVE and nuture him/her just like I did and do LOVE each of my boys.

I am grateful for pictures like this that remind me of times I was physically able to show my Kaden that his mommy LOVES him! :) 

June, July, August, September

 

It has been way way too long since I updated. We had my mom take a couple family pictures in July!  They were edited....and brightened and I am not sure where those went on my computer

 

This was taken on Kaden's Birthday.  We celebrated with family that evening...we went out to dinner and then came back to the house for swimming and cake.  I know my little man who would have turned 3 would have loved to play and laugh in the pool with his cousins. 

Karter keeps us super busy and is a true blessing in our lives.

What was left from the cake I made for Kaden's Birthday party

He loves climbing into things and onto things.

Karter's first sucker.  He climbed up to the top of the ski ball and would not let us near him cause He thought we were going to take away his sucker.

This little boy LOVES!! his dad and loves to work with him, play with him and laugh with him

 

In fact the other day he told us both he wuvs us!! we were so excited.

 

Things he loves:

1. climbing onto everthing

2. sugar

3. fun

4. pool

5. Going anywhere but our house....brings me his Shoes and says sssssssshhh for shoes

6. giving us random loves throughout the day

 

words he says:

1. ball

2. mama

3. daddy

4. papa

5. baby

6. please in sign language

7. all done in sign language

8. hi

(I think there is more....just can't think of any at the moment)

May Madness!

So many of you may wonder what happened to me the last couple months.  Karter has turned into a major toddler.  Running and destroying the place.  He is in his highchair as we speak and that is about the only time I get to do something....that and nap time so the blog has taken the back burner.  I dropped my last camera in the tub after taking pictures of Karter with his buddy Rhet (that will show me) So for my birthday on May 7th I got another point and shoot....someday I'll get a nice camera with the crazy lense and all but until I can learn to take care of a cheap one I can't buy a nice one (I've been thru 3 cameras in 4.5 years!)

The Month of May a little backwards and sideways!

 Mother's Day. Kaden and Karter.  Picture speaks for itself. Love them.

 I love his absolute innocence to this world.  It is refreshing.  I can totally understand why we are asked to "become as children"

How lucky is it that we happened to be driving by the temple on the day Angel Moroni was being placed!!?  We were driving out of costco and our old stomping grounds and this was happening! :) SOOO awesome!

Our little family....trying to get a picture with the temple not realizing it was exactly behind us.  It was SO hot that day and the sun was blinding!





Complete! :)

My cousin was baptised this month so I got to go to their house.  This is Karter with his Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Addington! 

This picture does not do justice to the awesomeness of this deal! All of this for $13 bucks!! Those are Ralph Lauren shorts and oldnavy shorts and DownEastBasics Pink tee (been wanting one so bad!) I LOVE GOODWILL!! LOL never thought I'd say that....but there are some deals to be had my friends! 

A Glimpse of calm Karter-its a rare occassion Why do you think I grabbed my camera!?  Might help if you turn that book right side up! :)



Karter feeding himself (or attempting to!)





Do those eyes melt your heart as much as they do mine!?



Back to using his hands!

 Believe it or not....he likes his sunglasses.  when he finds them he hands

them to us to put them on him!

Karter looking back to reassure it's ok to go out there and play! hillarious.

He held his own out there and loved to play with the water.  PS this is at a mall close by if you were wondering...probably going to live there with him this summer!

LOVED this!

Karter and Mom, Brittney and Rhet (yes they are the same age 19 days apart but people have asked if they are twins! LOL)



Rhet not loving it so much....poor guy

Can you see the pure excitment!? It's like I never take him out of the house and this was the first time! :)

This happened a little earlier in the month.  He got into the Pantry (now locked pantry) and somehow opened the Jar of Hoisin Sauce and was covered in it and eating it like I don't feed him! What a cute mess!

As you can see Karter keeps us busy around here! Gotta love 'em! :) 

Happy 1st Birthday Karter...a little late....:)

Dear Karter,

From the moment I felt I wanted to bring another baby to this earth I knew you would be special.  I was right.  To say you have helped heal a HUGE part of me after your brother died would be a complete understatement! I always said I would never want my other children to take away or for me to feel like they took the place of their oldest brother and you have deffinately not done that.  You remind me of him. Yes. You. Do! But you are your own special self and I love you seprately!

My pregnancy with you was hard.  I was so worried I was going to go thru the same thing I went thru with your brother's pregnancy and life.  It terrified me.  But your daddy had much faith and gave me a comforting blessing that I would deliver a healthy baby that would bring me much joy....and I did and am! 

I have tried to focus on each moment! Enjoying every day.  Kaden really taught me that!  The hard with the good!  It is not easy being a mom but I know that you have helped me feel like the mom I know I am supposed to be! You are SO FULL of life and are so CURIOUS! I know you get that from your dad and your older brother!  

I am so greatful for the past year that I have seen you make the milestones babies should make and you are turning into a very opinionated happy little toddler.  You don't walk by yourself but I know you will soon! You love your mom and dad! You even say mamama and dadada and know who is who!! You are so smart! You drink out of your straw cup so soficticated and you only take your binki when you go down for a nap!  My favorite thing you do right now is give me a "love" when I ask for one right before I lay you in your crib to go to sleep! SO SWEET!!! 

I was so excited for you to have a special birthday party.  We had family and friends at the park by our house.  We ate pizza, fruit and cake/cupcakes.   Speaking of cupcakes you LOVED yours and grandma even snuck you another one.  2 CUPCAKES....boy you were in HOG HEAVEN!  It was bitter sweet as we thought of your older brother that afternoon.  You are a reminder of what we missed with him but have to look forward to someday...just not today.  I hope I always make you feel like the special boy you are.  I love you so much....even when you test my patience to the limit!! :)  Happy Birthday my handsome little peanut! 

Love, 

MOM