Where to begin? I am not quite sure. I wish I was poetic with my words but I am just plain and simple. Short and sweet! What an experience. I will FOREVER be grateful for the wonderful people I have meet this past year, for their love, support and caring service they have given and shown our little family.
As I look back on this past year it all seems to be a blur! We found out I was pregnant around February and we were excited but I was always nervous. I somehow knew that everything was not going to go so smoth. Rusty has been my rock and my greatest support! There were numberless times I thought I was going to loose my son and that terrified me...I wanted so badly to be a mother. After a journey of bedrest, ER visits and a stay in antepartum in two hospitals, an abulance ride, and much more...Kaden came to world! I will never forget the words of Rusty in the labor room...he said "I know it is better for you to still be pregnant but it's kind of like Christmas morning and I can't wait to meet Kaden!"
Kaden came and left up to the NICU very quickly...I wasn't sure what to feel at that point. It was then I began to meet the nurses who would help our family through this time and become our extended family. I was terrified for the first couple months to say the least. Worried all the time that something would happen to my little man. All I could do for him at that point was change his diaper, take his tempature and put my hands on his head and feet. His skin was too sensitive to be rubbed. He got very sick about 10 days after he was born and I didn't know this but I would not hold him until he was 33 days old. I know I techinally wouldn't hold him if I was pregnant but I would be feeling him kick and move inside me. I felt helpless and so humble at the same time. I continued to pray that Kaden would grow and get better.
I will never forget the first day I got to hold him. We were together once again! He slowly made progress but there were deffinately still the ups and downs that could change in a matter of an hour. Slowly, but surely he had his surgery's, grew and went from intabated, to cpap, to high flow oxygen to just prongs, he continued to eat through a feeding tube and would take some milk from the bottle. Everything you do with premies especially with lungs like Kaden is totally different than a term kid as the nurses would say.
The truth is I don't know how I made it day to day at times but I had strength that I know was beyond my own.
Kaden is still on oxygen, an apnea moniter, and a feeding tube. Rusty calls them his "extension cords!" I love him! He keeps life interesting that is for sure!