Your little brother will be 6 months shortly. It was 5 days shy of 6 months that you passed from this world to the next next. You were not developmentally at his stage. You were much more like a new born. You loved to be snuggled and you only smiled at me a handfull of times.
It was just Monday night like any other and as your dad and I drove your brother home from Grandma and Grandpa Addington's I began to cry. I hurt for you. I miss you more than I can bear at times. The hardest part of the grief is that it is my only connection to you. I miss the connection I had while you were in my arms. I feel guilty that your brother is now in my arms and I feel joy and love for him like I can't feel for you because you are not here in this world. Don't get me wrong Kaden....I love you. I feel joy from the memories of you but sometimes the pain is so sharp and hurts so much because you are not in my arms. I don't get to do all the things mommies do that have a 2 year old and a 6 month old.
I wonder what you would look like and what you would be doing. I wonder how proud of your little brother you would be. Oh how I wonder....and when I do....I LONG for you. I long to feel you in my arms again. Someday....just not today....
Love your Mommy
No comments :
Post a Comment