Friday, January 8, 2010

Heart Pillow

I went to sewing class for my ward last night (which was my first night going)
I am pretty impressed with my skills in fact. I bought more fabric to make more for Valentines. I am always a little premature in decorating anyway.

But this pillow and a conversation with a friend got me thinking....
I think Heavenly Father in our worst of times wishes so badly he could come and just hug us. Don't you want to hug your children when they hurt??!! I feel that he just wants to take my pain and hurt away as any parent would want to do for a child of theirs. I know he loves me and I know that he sends angels to our rescue to sustain us and help us. These angels I call friends...there to hug me and tell me I understand your pain. Specifically one friend of mine knows my pain all to well...and for that I hurt but for the fact that she puts her arms around me and hugs me with a glimpse of what I am experiencing confirms to me that our Loving Heavenly Father (who is the only one who truely understands) loves us and sends us angels to help us at times like this. Thank you for loving me instantly and pulling me under your wing. You are a true blessing...
PS...I like to think I possibly had a dream for the first time that I can faintly remember. I never saw him or anything but I remember waking up to myself kissing someone. I am going to think it was Kaden. Missing him today...


  1. I wish I could've been there last night! I am glad that you had a good time. Do you want to come over to finish the rest of your pillows? I could make some too.

    I love that you had a good dream. I love those.

    Thinking of you often.



  2. hi jacquie:
    i'm glad you left a comment on my blog. i did go back to work full-time after addi died, which was great for my sanity but not what i had planned. sounds like you had a rough first full-time day back, which is totally expected. i found that the days passed MUCH more quickly at work than in our way-too-empty home. don't you hate that? i think it is especially hard to lose your first because there is no one else to take care of or make you get out of bed in the morning. addi only spent a week at home with us but after she left the house was SO quiet and empty.
    i distinctly remember going grocery shopping and seeing the other moms with kids in their cart and wishing there was some way all those strangers could see that i was a mommy too! and church was SO hard, seeing everyone sitting with their families and knowing someone was missing from our row. i still feel that way. sundays are hard. i read your post about crying in the bathroom and felt for you because that has happened to me so many times at church. i think every mothers day i wind up crying in the bathroom.
    a funny thing i did that helped me feel like a mom was to go out and buy an SUV. it always made me smile to drive around in my huge "mom" car. maybe you and rusty should go get a mini van! that would for sure let the world know you have a little one and who cares if they think you are crazy?
    hang in there and let me know if you ever want to talk or anything. i wish we were still in arizona.

  3. Great pillow - sewing just makes me happy. Hope it helps you too.

    Thinking of you!