Thursday, June 3, 2010

Can you believe?

I can hardly believe
my son
would be
turning ONE YEAR

what is harder to believe or accept
is he only spent 6 months 
with us.

I sit here and can't help but think what would he be doing? would he have oxygen still? how would his feedings be going?  how would his birthday party be with him here?  oh the list goes ON AND ON.
 I try not to think about the sad as much as the happy but then of course the happy times makes me wish and long for those happy times again.  The day Kaden was born changed me forever.  I will forever be changed with him coming into my life.  I have never felt so complete and so broken on one day in my life.  I hope that he will be with us on his birthday even if it is just his spirit.  I long to feel his warmth and love. will you pray that I do? 


  1. I surely will my dear. Pinkie swear! I admire you so much.

  2. Hi Jacquie! I hope that you are doing well! I'm so excited for you to hear that you are pregnant again. :)

    I felt like I should tell you that my cousin had a similar experience as you with her first child. As I read both her blog and your blog it seems like it helps to communicate your feelings with someone that has gone through something similar. I thought you might like to read some of her blogs. Her blog site is

    I hope you aren't suffering too bad from morning sickness. :) I look forward to more blogs from you.

  3. Jacquie, my dear sweet niece---please know that the love and warmth you are seeking will surely wrap you up today and always. You may feel it in the wind, in the hug of a friend, whispering in your heart at the tenderest of times, but it will be there. I can feel him when I am near you so I know he will always be close to your heart. Feel his love today, all days, and ours too. I pray for you always. Love...

  4. Happy Birthday to baby Kaden. Thinking of you today sweetheart. Excited to see you and enjoy the sweet party held in his honor. xoxo