Deshavu?

So I had a post that I deleted.  I don't want anyone to think I am over here trying to be dramatic or crazy!  I am just needing to get it out.  Many of you probably remember my complications with Kaden's pregnancy right? well as a refresher this is what happened.  I was diagnosed with a SCH subchorionic hemorage.  Basically it where bleeding collects in the gestational sac.  It happens in about 1% of pregnancies and has not been determined why.  Dr's say there is no evidence that it occurs because of anything a mother does.  It just happens!  Well, with Kaden it started in my first trimester and lasted into my second trimester.  Eventually, causing my placenta to weaken away....causing it inevitable to go into labor along with a placenta fetal side infection.  It was kind of a tumbling effect if you will.

Well, on Thursday evening I was out to dinner with some friends and had that feeling like "it is happening again."  I immediately went to the restroom, left dinner, called emergency triage and had Rusty and our friend give me a blessing.  Of course my mind is uneasy but I am so exhausted I try to just follow the nurses instruction. Check every hour and try to get some sleep, if the bleeding worsens go to the ER.  Well, fortunately I didn't need to go to the ER.  I called the Dr. in the morning and they got me in at 9:15am. 

Rusty came with me as support.  We figured either we lost the baby or it was the same thing with Kaden's pregnancy which is 1% of pregnancies remember!?  How this could happen again is mind boggling.  I have been so mixed emotions.  I am trying to focus on the positive but it is hard to think what complication caused all of the heartache of loosing our son is so overwhelming.

I am trying to keep positive in knowing there is also positive outcomes as well.  It is not guareented that what happened with Kaden will happen again.  But....will you please keep us in your prayers?

I can't say I am not asking why this has to happen to us again? and why the same complication to give us extra scare?  I can't say I am not a bit angry....but I am trying to have a positive outlook.  I can promise you all that I do know I am in the Lord's hands and that he does love us.  I also know I have a sweet son on my side in Heaven.  I can just picture him pleading my cause and being my advocate!  I also know that the Lord only sends trials our way to refine us and make us better so some day we can be good enough to endure his glory.