Rusty and I went out last night. I took him on a date, planned 5 dates infact, I gave him the choice, I drove (which I HATE to do!), and I had FUN!
Rusty and I at times when we are lying in bed at night have conversations/discussions if you will. Last night it was about Kaden...he consumes pretty much all our thoughts and our
NEW perspective. Rusty told me as I sat in our bed crying that I would one day be greated with him and reunited with him and the JOY that I would feel one day would make me answer to the question: would you do it all again the same? answer: yes...
I hesitate to say that I truely would say yes. But I really do think I would. Heavenly Father gave me the blessing of having my sweet son. His Life and his Death has changed me FOREVER. I hope that I can learn all that I need to from my sweet boy.
The Lord gave away with Sacrifices like they did in the scriptures...but now he asks of a more personal sacrifice.
A BrOkEn HeArt and a Contrite Spirit.
"But Blessed are the poor who are pure in heart, whose hearts are broken, AND whose spirits are contrite for they shall see the kingdom of God coming in power and great glory unto their deliverance; for the fatness of the earth sall be theirs."
what does that mean?!
I can tell you I have a Broken Heart. My Heart literally broke and shattered on November 30, 2009. Walking away from all my dreams and hopes and wants of having my sweet Kaden here with us was TOO much and continues to be
TOO much at times to bear ALONE...
That is why our Heavenly Father and our Savior knew and gives us the tools to allow our spirits to become Contrite...
How will I let this trial and this grieving process change me? will I allow myself to be Refined and Smoothed? Will I learn all that I need to? I pray that I do....I owe that to my Heavenly Father for he too gave His Only Son for ME (and all of you)
President Spencer W. Kimball: ” “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.”
“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.” Doctrine & Covenants Section 58