Saturday, May 22, 2010

1 WHOLE YEAR

Last Year today...
I was exactly 22 weeks pregnant.
I was at my mom's house.
I think I remember getting stressed and worried about Kaden's Cleft.
SILLY now...

It was just another typical day of pregnancy bedrest.
I started feeling cruddy like usual.
I didn't feel too...too...bad like I was in labor or something
BUT
I had been feeling like that ALOT my whole pregnancy so I just thought oh this is just typical
BUT
it wasn't

I
was
in
Labor.

5-8 minutes apart
contractions
at a 1 and 80%
they
DID
NOT
like that

1 WHOLE YEAR
ago
the fight got even harder.
Bedrest at home-piece of cake
Bedrest at hospital
HARD
VERY HARD

But I did what I could...
bed pan, catheter, labor bed, mind games and all
I DID IT!
I fought for my little fighter.
I will never forget an episode of thinking we were going to loose him
The nurse put on the doppler
to find his heartbeat
it was PERFECT!
She said "WOW...he is a little fighter!"
yes oh yes he was!

I knew I felt different today.
now I know why.
I can't believe it's been a whole year

His birthday is coming up.
and I am a bit nervous.
It is just not fair to have a birthday party for your child who is not here.
SORRY IT's not FAIR.
I am sure it will be bitter sweet.
{Like the day he was born in a way}

2 comments :

  1. Have I told you how much I love you? We have only known each other for two weeks but I feel like you have been my best friend my whole life! You and Rusty are one of the most amazing couples I have ever met. I feel so blessed to have met you:)

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  2. I can't imagine the pain, even in the memory of it.

    ReplyDelete