Wednesday, March 17, 2010

To answer...or Not to answer...that is the question.

Is this not the most adorable sleeping boy!!??
I miss him/this A. L. O. T.
So...because many people ask these questions I thought I would answer them.
1. Is his crib still up?!
The answer is:
I have a hard time with this. Kaden never had his "own" room. If he did would I be more sad? Or could I always call it "Kaden's Room?" well...a part of me wants to take this down and get new furniture for our bedroom and a part of me just can't handle the thought. It stays up. I don't know for how much longer. But for now it is up. I love to look at it and think of his warm cozy little body in it...and there are other times I can't hardly stand to look at it.
Yes, it is representation that he is now gone...but it is also a representation that HE LIVED!! many of you can or can't imagine it is one of those hard things to just put away.
Where is all of his stuff?
In the spare bedroom closet.
Also, known as Kaden's closet.
This is the closet I would come to after a bath with Kaden to pick out his cute outfit for the day. Oh how I miss picking an outfit. He has some cute clothes.
this was a hard day.
I put all his belongings besides his crib, swing, some pictures and momentos...
Once we are in a house I will find something else to do with it and for now this is where it will stay. He used all of it minus a few outfits, diapers, shoes, and his Christmas presents.

LAST...but not least.
nor do I know when I will be or when I want to be.
My pregnancy with Kaden was a rocky one and then to loose him
scares me to "love again."
I will get there.
Just not today.

At risk of exposing myself. I always suck in...this is my belly reaaaaaaallly relaxed.

{have been working out...not really loosing weight...and am disappointed

especially when people ask "Are you pregnant!!?? :)"



  1. I am glad that his crib is still up, to me it seems like it should be that way. When you said it is a reminder that he lived, it gave me chills. You are so funny to post that picture of yourself. You are so brave. You look way better than me girl so don't even worry about it. I don't really think it is anybody's business but yours and Rusty's as to when you decide to have another baby. I am sure Kaden is being the most AWESOME older brother to you next child up in heaven. I think that is a happy thought. Peace out girl.

  2. I think there is nothing wrong with keeping his crib up! and i love your "pregnant" so the same way, isnt is supposed to just fall off??

  3. Jacquie, you are so beautiful, both inside and out! Don't ever forget-you are a child of God, and He doesn't make mistakes!!!!

  4. I love seeing Kadens crib up. Miss you. Love you.